Order Up!
(Image from: http://www.humor-articles.com/dont-play-with-your-food/)
SheSaid: When I lived on my own, friends and relatives seemed strangely fascinated by my domestic habits. ”Do you manage to feed yourself?” was a favorite question. It was sweet! I enjoyed it as much as I do when average-heighted people ask, “Do you have trouble finding clothes?” I usually reply, “Well, I’m not standing here naked, am I?!” This holds less sway when I actually am standing there naked, but still. It’s pretty clear some folks were raised in a barn or by a Lohan.
To satisfy the curious and the bored, here are some of my… if not favorite dishes, then most frequently concocted.
TOP TEN THINGS I LIKE TO SERVE:
10. tainted clams
9. take out, even though it never comes in those little red and white Chinese boxes, like it does on TV
8. owl-flavored meats
7. ramen (no-name for nobodies, Mr. Noodles for good friends and Ichiban for BFFs - stove-top, not microwave, as I’ve been known to cook a few without water)
6. gum (with or without toast)
5. Jello Pudding Pops, complete with terrible Bill Cosby impression (check expiration dates, as these haven’t been around for awhile…)
4. power bars - the lady kind, so don’t be surprised, guys, when you start developing some juicy new moobs
3. toothpicks - you supply the cocktail wieners
2. assorted schnapps
1. revenge, cold or otherwise
Bon Appetit!
