What is This?
He Said: Does any guy know what this is? My first guess was a chin strap for small-faced guys that would enhance oral sex. You’d put this baby on, dive into that muff, and the little hair on top would tickle her to ecstatic heights.
Then I thought it was a wig for a turtle who wanted to look macho. Or a fake mustache for children…
They’d strap it around their tiny skulls and pretend to be Tom Selleck, Ron Swanson or Frida Kahlo.
But that’s not what it is. My wife bought it at Sephora (of course she did) and tells me it’s a ponytail holder. Once on, it looks like you tied the ponytail with a section of your own hair, just like models apparently do in magazines I never read.
I mean, it’s not dumb, but it is specific and a little weird and you spent money on it.
So you’re never allowed to tell me I can’t wear my Calgary Stampeders cap out in public again.
