He Said: As the San Francisco Giants were close to wrapping up the World Series, my wife realized I was watching something big and important. Sensing it was also something she knew nothing about, she decided to sit down and wreck it. Sorry, watch it with me. Here is how it went down:
She Said: Oh my God, who’s the guy with the beard?? Is it real? Is that a real beard or a costume?
He Said: It’s Sergio Romo and it’s fake. Tonight’s theme is to celebrate Halloween and that’s his costume. The center fielder is dressed like a panda and the catcher is a slutty nurse.
She Said: See? I try to learn new things and you mock. I like him though. He looks like a sexy terrorist. Is that racist? General rule: if you have to ask, it’s racist. But I love him. He looks beautiful and regal.
He Said: Shut it.
She Said: Sergio Romo. Now I know two athletes named Romo. Tony too. I hope this guy didn’t date Jessica Simpson because… come on.
He Said: Oh my God, please be quiet. I’m trying to watch.
She Said: Ooooh! Look how he dips then straightens before he throws the ball. It’s so cool. There should be a slide whistle playing. Bloooo-oooo-oooop! Up he goes! Rewind. I want to see him do it again. Why does he do that?
He Said: I guess it’s just how he pitches. Seriously, this is a close game and I’d like to watch it.
She Said: Close? The first row says 4-3, but the second row says 9-5. Is this the second inning?
He Said: What?! Those are the hits.
She Said: Oh yeah, I knew that, I just wasn’t looking. Or, like, reading it properly.
He Said: Because you’re talking!
She Said: Whoa, whoa, lookit THAT guy! He runs really fast… Hey, the announcer just said he ran fast too! He said it right after I said it. I know a lot about baseball.
He Said: You noticed that a person ran fast. Brilliant.
She Said: We used the exact same expression, is what I’m saying. About him being fast.
He Said: Yes! Romo struck him out! The Giants win!
She Said: You’re happy that the hot guy’s team won?
He Said: Yep, but I’m happier that the game’s over and we can stop talking about it.