She Said: You have to read this article!

He Said:  Is it about how extra fat around the waist is going to kill me?  Or have you found a different topic to lovingly share?

She Said:  It’s about this couple who renewed their wedding vows… for the 100th time.  

Couple Gets Married For The 100th Time

FROM:  Jezebel

Lauren and David Blair of Tennessee married in 1984, but they’ve renewed their vows 99 times since, each ceremony taking place in a different location, the latest being at the Hard Rock Cafe in Honolulu, Hawaii.  They now hold the Guinness World Record for “Most Marriage Vow Renewals by the Same Couple,” and presumably friends have stopped sending them a kitchen appliance each time. Lauren says, “We knew we were meant for each other and wanted to continually share that vow experience. I love to look into David’s eyes as he is repeating his vows. I know that this man will love me until the day I die.” She adds, “Of course, David will tell you that he does it for the honeymoons!

He Said:  My only response is, “idiots.”  By my calculation, they’re renewing their vows just under four times a year.  I assume the first couple times were semi-fun. People danced, told stories, got drunk.  But what’ve you got left after, say, renewal 14.  “Uhm… who can forget the first time Lauren and David met?  Seriously, who can?  We’ve heard this stupid-ass story 13 times!”

She Said:  But, it’s kind of romantic, isn’t it?  In a nutso sort of way.  Can you imagine feeling compelled to announce your love over and over again?

He Said:  Yes.  Then I usually jackknife up in my bed, gasping like in a horror movie or that show from a couple years ago where that woman kept waking up with visions to solve crimes.  You know, the big-boobed one?

She Said:  Rosanna Arquette.  Medium.

He Said:  No… they were pretty huge.  Look, these clowns have done each renewal in a different place.  You hate that we have to drive an extra mile because our neighborhood Pinkberry closed down.

She Said:  So?

He Said:  So we don’t need to renew our vows because we did it right the first time.  We nailed our wedding, baby. These people are just giving themselves infinite do-overs, which means they must think they fucked up the 99 other times.

She Said:  Good point.  Besides, we renew our subscription to Entertainment Weekly every year, so there.

He Said:  Yep.  The people inside of that are just way more interesting.