The Nose Knows… and So Do Most Women
She Said: Have a look at this picture…
He Said: She’s nice… ish. She kinda looks like the girl I’d go after in high school because I might just have a chance.
She Said: Sure, okay. But maybe… can we agree… she doesn’t look quite as gorgeous as this?
He Said: I’d never have a chance with her. She’s the woman who’d tell her friend, no matter how drunk she is, that she could do better.
She Said: I know it drives you bonkers when I point out the plastic surgery of actresses. You think I’m being mean. Or just boring.
He Said: Basically, I think, who cares? I mean, how can you tell? You can’t tell! Maybe Eva was having a bad nose day.
SheSaid: Uh huh. And these pictures…?
He Said: Angelina’s younger in the first picture. That’s just baby fat.
She Said: In her nose?
He Said: Don’t care.
She Said: See, for me, it’s comforting. I love these women like I used to love all those crazy beautiful 90’s supermodels - who, I believe, were all naturally that gorgeous. I just think there’s some relief, when confronted with all that aggressive perfection, to know that they had a little help. They went from genetically blessed women to Olympian goddesses.
He Said: The girl in the first picture has bad hair and worse eyebrows. Seriously, what is that on her head?
She Said: It’s a skateboard ramp. Anyway, after she fixed the hair, the girl in both pictures got a new nose.
He Said: That one’s fuzzy lighting. Winona looks like a ghost in the first one.
She Said: A ghost with a huge schnozz.
He Said: Again, if there was an award for not caring I would win it - but I would never claim it out of total indifference!
She Said: But you think Harry is Prince Charles’ biological son. The women I know - wives, girlfriends and single ladies - do care. It’s a weird obsession. I don’t know if it’s small and petty—
He Said: It is.
She Said: Or if it’s just the reassurance that the women we wanna look like don’t even look like they look. So this post (along with handy website http://www.celebrityplasticsurgery.tv) can let us nod knowingly or gloat annoyingly, that in a Sexiest Woman Alive Girls Gone Wild World, the only thing standing between us and untold fame and wealth is an inch or two off the ol’ beak.
He Said: Riiight. The only thing. So… any befores and afters of actresses and their boobs?
