CRUELLA DE VIL WITH A LITTLE PERSPECTIVE!

(via bowlofwilson)

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#101 dalmatians

#Cruella de Vil

#Disney

#Glenn Close

#lost to marriage

#marriage

#marriage humor

#he said she said

radsturbate:

marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than u so they wont eat all of urs

MAKES SENSE :)

(via yerassisgrass)

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#cereal

#marriage

#marriage humor

What do I think love is?

I’ll tell you what love is: THIS SHOW!!!!  #SheSaid

(via xxooovoxo)

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#Orange is the New Black

#OITNB

#What is Love

#Piper

#Poussey

#Sophia

#Laverne Cox

#Crazy Eyes

#Suzanne

#love

#romance

#marriage

HOW MY HUSBAND GREETS ME MOST EVENINGS.

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#I fucked up

#fuck up

#Will Ferrell

#marriage

#marriage humor

#love

#he said she said

MY WIFE, MAKING NEW FRIENDS. #HeSaid

MY WIFE, MAKING NEW FRIENDS. #HeSaid

(via apocalypanties)

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#Elaine Benes

#Seinfeld

#Jerry Seinfeld

#marriage

#marriage humor

#awkwardness

#awkward

#he said she said

MY WIFE AT THE END OF “ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK”

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#OITNB

#Orange is the New Black

#Ellen

#Kristen Bell

#sloth

#sloth excitement

#TV excitement

#great TV

#marriage

#love

#marriage humor

#he said she said

US

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#haha+you+love+me

#The Simpsons

#Homer Simpson

#Marge Simpson

#Homer and Marge

#love

#marriage

#marriage humor

#he said she said

DISHING IT OUT

He Said:  The photo you are about to see has not been recreated.  It is not a stock shot from when you Google “lazy dishwashers.” It’s how I found last night’s dishes when I woke up this morning.  It’s like the world’s worst game of Jenga.

image

She Said:  This happens because when you make dinner —

He Said:  Which is always —

She Said:  Which is always, except for one time, you use every single pot, pan, dish and utensil.  Besides, it’s more hygienic to let things drip-dry.

He Said:  Really? Because when I drip-dry coming out of the shower, you get mad.

She Said:  Who does that?  You walk around the house like a naked greyhound dripping everywhere, and then put your clothes on while you’re still wet.  Dumb.

He Said:  But how long do things need to dry?  Three days?  Because that’s how long the dishes sat there the last time before I put them away.

She Said:  These types of discussions always make me go all Vince Vaughn: “Why would I WANT to do dishes?”

image

She Said:  Basically, you figured out my plan: I wash, nature dries, you put them away.  Trust me, this is a lot safer than you doing the dishes.

He Said:  Safer?

She Said:  You suffer from “grime-blindness”.  Everything you “wash” is haunted by the ghost of greases past.  I’m surprised we don’t get malaria.

He Said:  I don’t think you know how diseases work.  I dry stuff right afterward because that’s how you remove dirt - with the towel. 

She Said:  Eww!  Here’s a better plan—

He Said:  We hire a sexy maid who wears nothing but an apron while they do the dishes?

She Said:  Sure, but I doubt Channing Tatum would do it or like being called a maid.

image

He Said:  

She Said:  What - it’s the Internet’s best GIF!  No, the plan is, we order in.

He Said:  Sounds good.

She Said:  But you have to take out the garbage right after we finish.  I don’t want the house smelling like General Tso’s Chicken for three days.

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#kitchen skills

#kitchen wars

#dishes

#dirty dishes

#marriage

#marriage humor

#love

#he said she said

#Channing Tatum

#Vince Vaughn

#The Break Up

MY WIFE, WHEN I GET HOME FROM THE GYM. #HeSaid

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#Orange is the New Black

#pensatucky

#bad smell

#shower

#gym

#marriage

#marriage humor

#he said she said

MY WIFE AT THE SALON. #HeSaid

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#Orange is the New Black

#Red

#Sophia

#jenji kohan

#great TV

#OITNB

#marriage

#marriage humor

#he said she said

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