marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than u so they wont eat all of urs
MAKES SENSE :)
He Said: The photo you are about to see has not been recreated. It is not a stock shot from when you Google “lazy dishwashers.” It’s how I found last night’s dishes when I woke up this morning. It’s like the world’s worst game of Jenga.
She Said: This happens because when you make dinner —
He Said: Which is always —
She Said: Which is always, except for one time, you use every single pot, pan, dish and utensil. Besides, it’s more hygienic to let things drip-dry.
He Said: Really? Because when I drip-dry coming out of the shower, you get mad.
She Said: Who does that? You walk around the house like a naked greyhound dripping everywhere, and then put your clothes on while you’re still wet. Dumb.
He Said: But how long do things need to dry? Three days? Because that’s how long the dishes sat there the last time before I put them away.
She Said: These types of discussions always make me go all Vince Vaughn: “Why would I WANT to do dishes?”
She Said: Basically, you figured out my plan: I wash, nature dries, you put them away. Trust me, this is a lot safer than you doing the dishes.
He Said: Safer?
She Said: You suffer from “grime-blindness”. Everything you “wash” is haunted by the ghost of greases past. I’m surprised we don’t get malaria.
He Said: I don’t think you know how diseases work. I dry stuff right afterward because that’s how you remove dirt - with the towel.
She Said: Eww! Here’s a better plan—
He Said: We hire a sexy maid who wears nothing but an apron while they do the dishes?
She Said: Sure, but I doubt Channing Tatum would do it or like being called a maid.
He Said: …
She Said: What - it’s the Internet’s best GIF! No, the plan is, we order in.
He Said: Sounds good.
She Said: But you have to take out the garbage right after we finish. I don’t want the house smelling like General Tso’s Chicken for three days.